Read Sayde’s Story

My name is Sayde, and I lost my beloved only child Harry Boy to suicide on January 3rd, 2023. There are certain dates that are embedded in your life, and for me this will always be the day that the life inside of me was drained. It was as if I could no longer breathe. As a parent you never think that your child will go before you, especially in this tragic way. My life has forever been changed, there is no going back to normal. It’s about seeking help, getting oxygen to breathe.

Immediately, I was aware that I needed help, that I could not handle this alone. While I did seek help, it took interviewing many therapists and having to relive that terrible moment every single time to find the right therapist for myself. In the meantime, I was feeling alone, depressed, and unconsolable. It took several weeks before I found a therapist that fit what I was looking for. And it took several months before I was able to get an appointment with a psychiatrist. 

Luckily, I am blessed to have family that lives nearby and amazing friends that were present for me. However, there were family members and friends that just abandoned me whom I never thought would. It was based on their stigma and religious beliefs. My beliefs are different; my son had a mental illness–- he dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts for more than half his life. Just because you can’t see the injury and pain does not mean it doesn’t exist.

While there was some help available, there was still something missing. I searched and searched, asked for assistance until finally I found EricsHouse. When I reached out and called the number, I did not go to voicemail, Madi answered the call right away, and she signed me up for the upcoming support group for mothers who had lost a child to suicide. 

Finally! I was able to be with others who were going through this tragedy as well. For the first time, I did not feel alone, I did not feel as if no one understood, that I had to be careful with my choice of words. Marianne led the group along with Carolyn. These amazing women were so supportive, and provided such empathy, understanding, guidance, and love, that I can honestly say that while this is the most dangerous mountain I have had to climb, I have been provided with the best guides.

EricsHouse has helped me find purpose in my life once again, and I am forever thankful!