Those of us who have supported someone we care about through mental health or addiction struggles understand the transition from prevention strategies to intervention. If only we could make them see – where this could lead, how deeply they are cared for . . . how much could be possible if they could conquer their demons.

Sometimes those strategies fail and we lose them.  Then we’re left with our own struggles to survive.  When we find support and companions in our grief we call that postvention.  We find those willing to walk beside us on this overwhelming, sad, tragic journey.  We take those first, stumbling steps . . . and then we keep going in spite of our doubts and deep sadness.

Some survivors don’t find the support they need.  While many of us have, at times, questioned whether it might not be OK if we didn’t wake up tomorrow – some convince themselves they can’t go on.  Some self-medicate to dull the pain, only to find it waiting when they awake.

I won’t lay the statistics on you, they are frightening.  Far too many survivors of losses to suicide or substance feel lost and hopeless – not finding healing or not surviving themselves.  

When we find our companions on this journey of survival, we first learn what we need from others and how to open ourselves to receive the blessings of their support in connection with them.   Then we learn how to be a companion to someone else and find the blessings in that, too.  We learn to mourn and find ways to heal.   When we are able to be a companion to someone else in grief, we open the path to help them discover new meaning and purpose in their lives . . . we may even save their lives.

No one can or should grieve these losses alone.

Postvention is prevention.